People hurt us. Friends, family, strangers hurt us at times. We have all been hurt, disgraced, debarred or debased at some point in life. It’s just part of life. What I want to share here with you is: if people put you down, it’s not about you, it’s not even about them, yes it’s not even about them, and it’s all about their very nature. Be kind to them. That’s how it works.
Who hurts?
Normally people hurt you when they…
… are highly self-absorbed.
… are jealous and insecure.
... have internal programs and inner stories.
… are hollow at heart and are hurting within.
… are with helpless and humiliating childhood.
… facing trouble with the truth about something.
... look upon ‘things’ and look down over ‘people’.
… are people pleasers, they hurt you to please others.
… have no conscience and sense no sense of accountability.
… are cut off to their heart’s space and hurt people as a practice.
Why they hurt?
People generally put you down to…
…act convinced to cover their emptiness.
…forget their pain by making fun of you.
…hide their fear and to defend themselves.
…get your reaction and to use it for their offense.
…make you feel ‘Mx. Bad’ and to make them feel ‘Mx. Perfect’.
…to show how little you are by their ‘self-bragging’.
…provoke you to get you wild or to make you go bananas.
… tell you that they are ‘reforming’ you so they have to say so.
… pacify their ego when you say ‘No’ to the favor they ask you.
What happens?
o You lose trust in people.
o Hurtful words break your self-worth.
o You may feel intense emotional pain.
o Hurtful words leave invisible wounds on your self-esteem.
o You have always cared for people but you are shamed in return.
o The scars from the verbal wounds may even last a lifetime.
How to deal?
ü Accept the Pain. Analyze and let go.
ü Learn from your pet how to forgive.
ü Reciprocate gently with “Thank you”.
ü Stop your reaction to stop their action.
ü Become stronger as the weaker are the best victims.
ü Don’t believe their words that negotiate your wellbeing.
ü Don’t copy their behavior if you don’t want to regret it later.
ü For unintentional ‘hurters’ you can let them know how you feel.
ü For intentional ‘hurters’ buy them a mirror because it’s their own reflection upon you.
ü In lighter situations simply ask them “Do you mind some coffee?” getaway.
ü In severe situations back off with an air of confidence. Time will tell them what it is and how it is.
ü Sometimes the ones you love the most may hurt you intensely. Don’t give upon them. Step back and start caring for them.
Make them your Gurus
Remember every person out here is our Guru. Learn what you have to learn from your Hurt Guru.
* Remorse from the Guru may or may not happen, better learn forbearance.
* Your Hurt Guru is teaching you how to brighten people’s lives without the ugly specks from hurtful words.
* Your Hurt Guru is helping you to realize how important it is to maintain personal courtesy social integrity, and human dignity.
* Your Hurt Guru makes you turn inward. Have you ever tongue lashed people? Yes? Please stop because now you know how it hurts.
Remember
v People who truly care for you will never hurt you in any given situation.
v People are supposed to add value to others lives. Not to drag others down.
v Pass constructive criticism, not destructive verbal abuse.
v Pep up people. Ignite hope for humanity. Light the world with love.
v Never blame your Hurt Gurus. Seriously never! Love them more. They need love.
The Cause and Effect lurking out there honey. It’s a boomerang. Don’t hurt or you get hurt someday.
Thank You. Love!!
Shaila.
