VALIDATION?? NO THANKS!!

I decided I should stop people validating me. Am I a commodity for someone to put a price tag on me?!

All of us have little validations throughout our lives. Validation starts from when we ask a child “Are you a good boy or bad boy?” or “Are you a good girl or bad girl?” Please no! Let’s stop these stupid questions. Who are we to validate them? Striving hard for pointless approval has become our adopted tendency. Sometimes it’s fine to be approved. But the setback comes when somebody undervalues us by disapproving us. Then it makes us insecure and it will drain us out.

People validate people. They could be your parents, best friends or social contacts. We are all humans here. What they say about us comes from their own ideas and agendas. It cannot be right.

Don’t give license to someone to tell you what your worth is. How long can you sit like a patient in front of others, by making them specialist doctors to diagnose you? Do you think all the doctors are sick free? We are after all few missing pieces of a big puzzle to others. Why should we expect them to be experts to finish our puzzle? Why should the feedback, ‘likes’ and ‘comments’ validate us? This is not to say that we should disregard others’ opinions. We can say ‘yes’ to others but we should never say ‘no’ to ourselves. Because the more we look for external validation, the more we will be taken away from our internal happiness.

Self-validation is more powerful in the end. We must learn to live in our own skins and validate ourselves. We all know when we really need a change. There are some best areas where we could validate and change ourselves truthfully.

Walk for you

“You are fat” “You are too skinny” “You are selfish” “This dress is not good on you” these are nothing but the influenced perspectives. You need not believe such labels. Trust me if there is any parameter for your inner validation, it’s only you. You should not fail to detect you as an important person. You must compare you with yourself. You must grade your greater versions.

Eat for you

Eat merely for you not to impress people. Because people neither going to look up at you when you eat at a star hotel nor they look down at you if you eat on a roadside. Eat for you. Value what you eat.

Think for you

You are the most important person for you. Don’t take yourself for granted. Laugh at your small mistakes. Forgive your biggest mistakes. Who is mistake-proof? Don’t sell yourself short. Don’t lose sleep to impress others. It gives you stress and tensions. Every second is a starting point to the future. Start over.

Live for you

I used to think that the rest of the world’s eyes are only on me. That limited me, it brought me down. One of my best friends once said that nobody has time to watch us. Yes. Now I stopped caring for others. I don’t even care for well pressed and perfectly creased outfits. I care for what I like.

Work for you

Set small goals, achieve them and make merry. This gives you the most important inner validation. Do what you know and what you love to do. Don’t put yourself in the wrong places to impress people who in fact don’t care for you. Can you please everyone honey?

Be yourself for you

Don’t fake validation. Be original. Be authentically happy with yourself. If you are feeling down it’s quite okay to feel down. No one can be happy all the time. Denying the truth is sheer invalidation. Quiet yourself. Listen to the truth inside you. You are your best master. You are enough for you to validate you. Become your strict critic. Don’t compromise. But don’t punish yourself too hard. Unwanted condemnations and confusions will stop you from moving on.

Everybody is here for a purpose. You have your extraordinary value in this world. Free yourself from the burden of impressing people. Your very existence itself is the greatest validation.

Self-validation is taking an internal journey. Self-validation gives you wisdom. Self-validation makes you indestructible. You impress your ‘self’!!

Thank You. Love!!

Shaila